Bigfoot rampage
by TheDusky
Summary: A small, funny story I made. It was inspired by Butchykid624 on Youtube.


BIGFOOT'S RAMPAGE!

Story by Erik Johnson

Inspired by Butchykid624 on Youtube.

There were two men hiking in the woods. One had a pair of sunglasses on and the other was holding a video camera, filming the other.

Man1: So, have you heard of those crazy Bigfoot videos on Youtube?

Man2: Yeah man, those videos are so fake, Bigfoot doesn't even exist.

Man1: Why do you say that?

Man2: Well, Bigfoot just can't exist. Those videos are just some guy in a gorilla costume running around and stuff.

Man1: Really, huh? I would've never figured that out!

Man2: Well, just don't believe everything you see on the interne-

There is a growling sound coming from some bushes. Man2 steps towards them.

Man1: What in the world was that?

Man2: It's just a stupi-

Just then, a huge, humanoid creature jumps from the bushes and uppercuts Man2 right in the chin.

Man1: HOLY SHIT. IT'S A GOD DAMN BIGFOOT! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Man2 is pummeled with an endless barrage of punches.

Man2: OH FUCK, HELP ME MAN! PLEASE HELP ME!

Man1: Fuck that, I'm leaving! I told you that ranting about how Bigfoot isn't real in the woods would get you in trouble!

Man1 runs out of the scene, with Man2's screams of pain echoing in the distance.

Man1 ducks behind a cover of trees, where he sees Man2's body being sat on by Bigfoot.

Man1: Jesus H. Christ, thank God I ran for it! Truth be told, I'm not that bummed about Bigfoot killing that guy. He was such an idiot, I mean, how could anyone possibly think that those Bigfoot videos are fake? I always knew he was in denial. Well, he got what he deserved.

Then, Bigfoot spots Man1 hiding, and rushes towards him.

Man1: OH SHIT! FUCK OFF ASSHOLE!

Man1 runs away again, with Bigfoot growling and flipping the middle finger right behind him.

The camera cuts to Man1 running out of the woods, with a small house next to him. On the porch, there is another man, dressed in a camo T-shirt and a Blue jacket. He looked like a hunter.

Hunter: Hey man, what're you running from?

Man1: Christ man, you wouldn't believe this shit man! I just got attacked by a God damn Bigfoot!

Hunter: A God damn Bigfoot? Here, just come inside!

Hunter and Man1 step into the house.

Hunter: Ya see this?

Hunter rolls up his shirt, revealing the words

たわごと染色 written across his stomach.

Hunter: See this, as long as this is written on my stomach, I will NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER die. Not EVER!

Man1: Uh…ok.

Hunter: I've been training ever since I was about 15 to kill Bigfoot. I always wanted to do that. And I know every way possible to get him too! So, if you stick with me, you'll get to see some ass kickin' on Bigfoot's monkey ass.

Just then, Hunter goes to hang his jacket in the closet. As he does so, he has his back turned toward the inside of the closet. Inside the closet, stands Bigfoot! Hunter doesn't even realize this as he hands Bigfoot the jacket.

Hunter: Thank you.

Just then, Bigfoot roars from behind Hunter. Hunter's head wips around to stare face-to-face with this beast. Bigfoot quickly punches Hunter in the stomach before he can grab his nearby rifle.

Man1: HOLY SHIT! BIGFOOT'S BACK!

Hunter tries to get away from Bigfoot, but isn't successful in doing so. Bigfoot drags Hunter into a nearby room, shuts the door, and locks it. There is a long scream coming from Hunter, but then it subsides. Man1 is frozen with fear, and hides in a corner. Bigfoot emerges from the room, with blood all over his body. He flips Man1 the bird, then runs outside.

30 minutes later….

Man1 is still quivering in fear as he hears steps on the roof. He decides to make a run for it.

Man1: Ok, I guess I should haul ass now.

He dashes outside, but is stopped by a Jack O Lantern Halloween bucket that swoops from above and nearly hits his head. He looks up and sees Bigfoot, on the roof, throwing things at him.

Man1: Hey buddy, what the fuck are you doin' up there?

Bigfoot gives Man1 the middle finger and throws a heavy box at Man1. Man1 quickly runs into the house again.

Man1: Shit, what the fuck am I going to do now?

As Man1 says this, his eyes rest upon Hunter's rifle, which was sitting on a table nearby.

Man1: Hehe, now this creepy crypto can kiss his ass goodbye.

Man1 steps outside and sees Bigfoot, who his laughing on the roof.

Man1: Hey asshole, look over here!

Bigfoot spots Man1, and growls at him.

Man1: Eat this bitch!

Man1 pulls the rifle's trigger, and a loud BOOOOM is heard. Bigfoot clutches his chest, where the bullet found it's home. Bigfoot then fell backwards.

Man1 ran to the other side of the house, just in time to see Bigfoot's body roll off the roof and onto the grass.

Man1: Oh man, I better call the Police!

Man1 digs in his pocket and pulls out his cellphone. He faces away from Bigfoot's corpse. He quickly dials 911 and brings the phone to his ear.

Man1: Hello, 911? Yes, I have an emergency here. A big one! This morning, my friend and I were hiking and we saw this Bigfoot! He came and beat my friend to death, then he….wait, what? No, I'm not drunk! You've got to believe me, I am tell….Ok, ok, yeah, fuck you too!

Man1 sighs, and puts his cellphone back into his pocket.

Man1: Well, if they don't believe me over the phone, let's see what they if I bring in this fucker's body!

Man1 turns back toward to where Bigfoot lay. Yet this time, he didn't see the corpse of Bigfoot. Instead, all he saw was a few big foot steps leading into the woods. There was a long silence, then Man1 whispered to himself….

Man1: Oh shit.

THE END


End file.
